Saying Goodbye to Avo

Saying good bye to a family member is never easy no matter how long they have lived. We had to say good bye to my last living grandmother whom we called Avo last Monday. It was strange how it all occurred because the night before she passed I had a lot of anxiety and was having trouble breathing. Vic & I pegged it to pregnancy hormones going crazy and we thought it was just anxiety over getting ready for baby blessing two. However the next morning it all made sense when my parents called me from the hospital that Avo was in the ICU because her blood sugar was extremely high (She had diabetes). The next phone call they told me that her kidneys had failed completely and there was nothing else left to do. It was only a matter of time before she would pass. She passed that night after 9pm. My Avo had been staying in the nursing home for the last 3 years when she required 24 hour care due to dementia. Looking back we really lost her 10 yrs ago when her mind slowly began to fail her. She began forgetting a lot of things, slowly she she couldn't recognize her loved ones, and over time it worsen. This disease is so so sad. It not only affects the patient but also all those whom love and care for them. It breaks your heart to see them suffer and know that it will just to continue to get worse over time.

My parents have been saints through out this whole process and truly I have no idea where they found the strength to bare it all. Twenty seven years ago they took my grandmother in from Madeira Island so that she could live with us and be taken care of. They sacrificed so much of themselves and missed out on so many things when they made this decision. For example they barely went on any trips once my brother and I were out of the house because someone had to take care of Avo. Even when she was admitted to the nursing home, they visited her everyday for one of her meals. I would also visit when Ava was a baby and Avo seeing the baby made her so happy. However the day came when she no longer could acknowledge our presence and just cried out in pain. The last time I visited her, she was in this state. It took me a good week to get over it mentally. It really just crushes you completely and I pray that no one ever has to experience it. I am amazed that my parents continued to go no matter how difficult it got.

Avo turned 100 years old on the very same day that Vic's step dad Mark passed away last year, October 18th. While it was amazing her body was so strong to live this long, there wasn't much anticipated celebration for the spirit of the woman we once knew. Once someone turns 100 years you think it's only a matter of time. Avo passed 3 months after she turned 100. It's so sad to say good bye and no one knows this better than my parents who devoted their lives to taking care of her. They were obviously crushed and it's so difficult to witness your parents so sadden. Hopefully time will help heal their hearts. May we also find some comfort knowing that she is no longer suffering and is at peace now with my grandfather.

Four generations in this photo: Mom, Me, Ava and Avo

This post is devoted to the memory of my Avo and to my parents' remarkable devotion of care.